three

here is a short story from a series i wrote because i thought it would b funny to make alt lit style stories abt jomny sun, i may release more short stories that i have been collecting for a book xD

jomny sun wakes up after noon feeling hungover
"i am hungover" he thinks
he looks at his phone + reads several texts from his gf charli xcx, they are in one of their online grad school classes while at a coworking space
"i can't believe i'm in love w a girlboss" jomny sun texts
"yeah we don't get to choose why we love. sorry bby" charli xcx replies
jomny sun sends back "xD" + walks out of his room into the kitchen
he turns on the second hand espresso machine his father had given him + waits for the water to heat up
jomny sun eyeballs approx 17g of ground espresso into the portafilter's basket + tamps it down
his roommates cat walks into the kitchen + nudges jomny sun's leg
"o hello little lady" jomny sun says as he starts petting the cat under the chin + on top of the head, using his entire hand "sweet val what's the good news" as she starts purring
the light next to the on switch of the espresso machine turns off, indicating that the water is hot enough to be used
jomny sun twists the portafilter into the machine + places a small cup underneath before pressing the water switch
as hot water flows thru the espresso grounds + drips into the cup below, jomny sun begins to stretch by touching his toes
he shuts off the machine just as the cup nears its capacity + moves it to the table
jomny sun untwists the portafilter out of the machine + moves it to a paper bag underneath the table, hitting it against his foot thru the bag until the used espresso puck falls out
he wipes the basket out with a paper towel before placing it next to the machine

after slamming the espresso shot like a vodka shot, jomny sun goes to the refrigerator + takes out: a bottle of horseradish bloody mary mix, celery, leftover cooked breakfast sausage links, pickled green beans, pickled ginger + pickled jalapenos
he then places everything onto the counter before opening the cupboard to take out: a bottle of smirnoff vodka as well as a pint glass commemorating the wedding of two dear friends from three years ago
jomny sun takes four small ice cubes out of a blue silicon ice tray + drops them into the wedding pint glass followed by 2 shots of vodka then the horseradish bloody mary mix he shakes a bottle of local hot sauce over the drink three times before three cracks of black pepper from the pepper grinder
jomny sun uses a stalk of celery to stir the drink
he then stabs a toothpick into the celery just above the bloody mary line in the glass
jomny sun slides a breakfast sausage link onto the toothpick followed by a pickled green bean followed by another breakfast sausage link followed by 2 slices of pickled ginger followed by a pickled jalapeno
jomny sun ingests the bloody mary along with its toppings + a 2mg xanax bar while looking out the window

after doing the dishes + cleaning the kitchen jomny sun walks into his room + turns on the overhead red light
he changes into wool socks, black sweatpants, a black t-shirt with gon + killua from hunter x hunter on it, a black turtleneck + a dark gray long sleeve wool shirt with three buttons closed
jomny sun stretches touching his toes for ten seconds
then he puts his left leg over his right leg + touches his toes for another ten seconds
then he puts his right leg over his left leg + touches his toes for another ten seconds
then he stretches his left + right thighs for ten seconds each
jomny sun puts his bike lock in the backpack’s right side pocket then his water bottle in the left side pocket
he clips an external speaker to the right backpack strap + walks out into the covered back porch
jomny sun sits on the single step in his back porch + places one black adidas waterproof shoe onto his right foot
he ties the laces with a double knot
jomny sun places one black adidas waterproof shoe onto his left foot
he ties the laces with a single knot
he opens the back door + brings out his bike + bike pump
jomny sun sets his bike down on the astroturf his roommate had lined their 2nd floor balcony with + brings the back tire to 100 psi using the bike pump
he then brings the front tire to 100 psi as well before putting the bike pump back into the back porch + closing the self locking door
jomny sun puts a black balaclava over his head with his hair coming out the bottom +  over it he clips a silver helmet with two stickers on the back
one: his friend dax shepherd had printed featuring a protestor standing in front of a fire with an oversized elmo mask on
the other: a sticker with a fan drawing of a sonic character with text reading "primarily high on weed"
he takes a picture of himself + texts it to charli xcx with the devil emoji
he holds the ‘on’ button until the external speakers make a chime signaling "u are able to listen to music loudly thru me"
jomny sun presses play on the playboi carti album "whole lotta red" from his phone's music library
the album starts to play thru the speakers on jomny sun's backpack 
he puts his black 'adidas x neighborhood' gloves on before placing his phone in the negative space of backpack's right side pocket created by the bike lock + then carries the bike down the back stairs into the alley 
he hops onto his bike + starts to bike east

three songs into the ride just before crossing a bridge the speakers die
jomny sun bikes over the chicago river + looks at the skyline
"nice" he thinks
"pretty tite" he adds

jomny sun locks his bike to a 'no parking' sign just outside the mini mall the barnes + noble is located in + ties his sweatpants tight
he takes off his helmet + carries it in his gloved hands across the abandoned theater's parking lot to the side of the mini mall still containing signs of life
at the front doors of the barnes + noble there's a sign stating:
"because of recommendations made by the cdc due to miller lite virus u must be wearing a face covering to enter"
jomny sun leaves his balaclava on + walks into the store
he makes eye contact with the employee running the register + nods at them before walking up the escalator to the second floor
in the fiction section he goes to "L" + sees the only tao lin book they have is "taipei"
jomny sun grabs taipei off the shelf + holds it with his bike helmet
he walks around the 2nd floor of the barnes + noble glancing at the black domed security cameras littering the ceiling
jomny sun walks into the manga aisle + stands up straight before lightly crouching
he puts the softcover book partly down the front of his sweatpants using the drawstring to keep it in place while pulling the turtleneck + wool shirt over the top half, fully concealing the book
jomny sun returns to a normal standing position just as a barnes + noble employee walks around the corner "can i help you with anything?"
"yeah do y'all have the new demon slayer volume?"
"i think that should be on the other side over here" the employee walks around to the other side of the bookshelf while jomny sun follows
"yeah it uhh looks like we got 19" the barnes + noble employee says
"o thank u so much" says jomny sun
"no problem" the employee says + goes back to stocking shelves in a nearby area
jomny sun looks at the barnes + noble manga selection
he already has demon slayer vol 19 + is waiting for vol 20 to arrive in the mail
he makes some distressed noises
he looks at their volumes of berserk
he makes some indecisive noises
jomny sun walks down the escalator + towards the front door
he looks at the employee in the 'purchasing area' but they are not looking at jomny sun
jomny sun walks back across the parking lot to his locked bike
he unlocks the bike + removes 'taipei' from his pants, transferring it to his backpack
jomny sun bikes home in the january late afternoon feeling relaxed + chill

after carrying his bike up the back stairs he sits on a comfy chair that his roommate had found in the alley
he texts a picture of the book to charli xcx
charli xcx texts jomny sun "emo is forever"
jomny sun texts charli xcx "energy is eternal"
jomny sun takes a selfie with 'taipei' over his balaclava'd head + posts it to twitter with the caption "shoplifting tao lin is praxis"
jomny sun laughs to himself + walks into the apartment
val meows
jomny sun turns on the water kettle then opens the cupboard to grab a jar of instant coffee + a mug commemorating the 1997 green bay packers super bowl win
once the water boils he spoons two heavy teaspoons of instant coffee into the mug before covering it in boiling water + giving the mixture a few stirs
jomny sun walks into the living room with the coffee + stolen copy of 'taipei'
he sets the coffee down on the coffee table before sitting on the couch + beginning to read
"this is a lot more boring than i remember it being" jomny sun thinks
jomny sun had read 'taipei' shortly after it had come out in 2013
jomny sun sets down 'taipei' + thinks about the first time he went to nyc in 2014

regis philbin, who he had then only known from the internet but who now jomny sun would consider a good friend, had put together a reading in a brooklyn bookstore that jomny sun had read at
at the reading regis philbin declared that everyone who wanted to read would have to box another reader wearing boxing gloves + a mouthguard
jomny sun + regis philbin boxed
jomny sun felt as tho his + regis philbin's match was truly the "titlefight of the nite"
jomny sun read poems out of breath drinking from a 40oz of st ides malt liquor
later that nite jomny sun posted a picture of himself to his instagram in front of the building the bookstore was housed in with a cigarette in his mouth captioned "war(r)io(r) poet" 

jomny sun remembers that regis philbin had recently posted the video of them boxing to twitter + opens regis philbin's twitter in order to find it
jomny sun goes to the media tab + scrolls until december 8th 2019
their post reads: that time me and @rockstar_pure invented poetry when we beat the shit out of each other in an independent bookstore in bushwick
jomny sun watches the video + laughs
he quote tweets the video + captions "poetry is so fuckin tite"

jomny sun texts a picture of ‘taipei’ with the caption "mission accomplished lads" to the workout group chat consisting of his friends: alec baldwin, who lives in milwaukee + jj watt, who currently lives in nyc but previously lived in milwaukee with jomny sun + alec baldwin
"nice" texts jj watt who had once in 2012 shoplifted the tao lin novel 'richard yates' from barnes + noble for jomny sun when he had felt too nervous to do it himself
"hell yeah" texts alec baldwin "did u get ur pushups in?"
jomny sun had not
the group chat was currently on day 24 of a 30 day challenge designed to build up to doing 50 pushups in one go
jomny sun begins the pushups for day 24 which start at 5 pushups
he waits the recommended minute in between reps then does 10 pushups
during the second minute wait jomny sun refills his water bottle from the brita pitcher
he does 5 pushups again then drinks some water during the minute rest
jomny sun does 10 pushups then drinks more water + texts the group chat "finished"
jj watt texts the chat "did i ever show u the vest i made in high school for shoplifting?"
"no" texts jomny sun" but now i really need to see it"
"ok" says jj watt "i'll draw up a little something"
"could u email that to me?" jomny sun asks
"yeah"

fifteen minutes later jj watt emails jomny sun with an attachment titled “cage.pdf”
the pdf is five pages of various drawings + writing on how to make a vest that can block out electronic security sensors 
after reading the pdf jomny sun thinks "i didn't realize jj watt was this good at drawing" + "this is a zine"
he texts the group chat "lol this is a sick zine" 

4 hours later jomny sun is driving to pick up charli xcx from their coworking space
he is listening to a youtube->mp3 rip of a live arthur russell video from 1985
he texts charli xcx "i'm outside" + they come out of the building
charli xcx gets into the car + jomny sun kisses them "how are u bby?"
"ahhhh" says charli xcx smiling "brain dead"
jomny sun makes a worried face "no no thats no good we've got to recharge u!"
"can i shower when i get to ur house?" asks charli xcx
"yeah of course" says jomny sun
"i'm not going to wash my hair" says charli xcx
"u can if u want any way is ok with me" jomny sun says smiling

charli xcx + jomny sun walk into the apartment, val meows at them
"o hello ma'am" charli xcx says + puts their things in jomny sun's room before coming out into the kitchen to pet val
"o ya i'm feeling lazy so i think i'm gonna go to the food smart to grab a pizza while u shower" jomny sun says "do u want me to grab u any fun drinks?"
charli xcx smiles "u know i love fun"
"which ones should i grab u?" jomny sun asks
"hmm" charli xcx begins "a blueberry hibiscus mama chia drink"
jomny sun starts writing into a notebook
"+ uhhh like an iced coffee mocha, i can't remember the one i got last time but it was really good"
"ok" jomny sun smiles "i'll b back shortly" he kisses charli xcx before putting his boots on + walking half a mile to the 24 hour store

at the food smart jomny sun finds the blueberry hibiscus chia drink but feels 'overwhelmed' at the iced coffee drinks section
he stares at the brightly lighted fridge before grabbing an almond milk mocha iced coffee
jomny sun walks around to the pre made food section + sees they only have cheese take + bake pizzas left
he decides to get a cheese pizza + "spruce it up" using other ingredients
along with the pizza + two fun drinks, jomny sun buys sliced spicy soppressata, mushrooms + a 6 pack of tallboy miller high lifes

jomny sun enters the apartment + charli xcx is sitting at the kitchen table with their laptop open looking at products on etsy
"so i got the chia drink" jomny sun says putting the groceries down on the counter "but i couldn't figure out which coffee drink u got before so i got u this one"
charli xcx looks at the almond milk mocha iced coffee "i can't have almond milk"
"ahhhh" jomny sun grabs his head, charli xcx has a large list of foods they are allergic to "i always forget one i'm so sorry the packaging was too cute i was blinded"
charli xcx smiles "it's ok"
jomny sun makes a 'devilish grin' "actually what if this was my plan the whole time so that i could drink the fun drink"
charli xcx laughs "u could've just bought urself one anyways"
"oh yeah" jomny sun laughs "dam it looks like my brain is the dead one now"
charli xcx smiles as jomny sun sets the chia drink down on the table + kisses their head
he puts the almond milk mocha iced coffee in the fridge + looks over at charli xcx
jomny sun smiles
"i love U" says charli xcx
"i love U" says jomny sun

jomny sun cooks the cheese pizza after placing spicy soppressata slices evenly throughout + cracking black pepper over it all
him + charli xcx eat the pizza while watching the season three reunion of vanderpump rules
jomny sun washes the dishes before charli xcx falls asleep in his arms
he kisses their head then grabs his playstation controller + changes the screen from television streaming to play yakuza: like a dragon
"lmao" jomny sun thinks as the game loads "i am so fucking lucky"